Chapter 29

A String of Yeses

In 1971, I was without a job or apartment, living with friends in Boston.  A friend told me about a place on the south shore that was hiring, so I got a ride there.  This place was an old abandoned summer camp that a Catholic Priest and a social worker were about to open as a camp for what they called “last-chance kids” who were graduating from the juvenile justice system into the adult system. They had a vision of stability, help and work in a beautiful place as a healing, turn-around possibility.  I wasn’t sure if I was applying... [more]

Him for Her

I’ve always had a complicated relationship with parenting.  I knew that I wanted children, but I didn’t NEED to be a parent.  Parts of it sounded nice.  Sharing knowledge, a sense of pride as they grow older, someone to keep me connected to the world when I’m old and don’t feel needed.  I liked those ideas, but I wasn’t compelled by them.   When Taylor was born, I felt a crushing weight that I hadn’t expected.  This child’s life or death is very much contingent on my behavior and my decisions.  The logistical aspects of raising a newborn didn’t bother me much, but the... [more]

Yes, My Lord

You know I get so weary, Lord, And I lose my way, But then I turn and see  You smile at me, and  I can hear you say,   “If you want me to, I will Walk with you Down this lonely road,”   And I said, yeah, yeah, Yeah, yes, my Lord.   You say, “My little one My beloved one You know you’re not alone,”   And I said, yeah, yeah, Yeah, Yes, my Lord.   You know I get so tired, Lord, Of my selfish ways, But when I turn and see You Smile at me, I... [more]

Are You Serious?!

Sometimes it takes an insightful friend to change an “Of course I won’t! Are you serious?” into a difficult “yes”.  My friend Georgia helped me to see clearly during a difficult time with another friend, Teresa.   Teresa and I had been roommates and best friends for many years, though eventually we’d moved to different parts of the country. We worked for the same research organization, but at one point her choices and actions hurt me immensely and I emotionally pulled away…far away.    Many years before, when we were in college together, we were more like sisters.  Though we lived together... [more]

Getting To YES!

Recently, when one hurricane after another was making landfall on US soil causing widespread devastation and human suffering, I was wondering how I could help. How could I possibly make a difference given the enormous scope of these disasters? The answer came in an email from the Red Cross just a few days later. The job requirements were tailor-made for me and my skills.   I knew it would be a challenge. Was I up to the task? I said, “YES” anyway. Five thousand health and mental health professionals nationwide also said, “YES” to a call from the Red Cross!... [more]

Military Recruiters

Sometimes I’ve said what has to be said.  The organization Veterans For Peace had mutual friends to Women’s International League for Peace & Freedom. I attended a small meeting at Veterans For Peace and volunteered to speak at the public schools board meeting regarding the military presence in the high schools.  Every family’s privacy is invaded every year with personal information furnished by the school to the military recruiters. The attendees at the meeting looked so grateful I couldn’t let them down.   Fortunately during a lunch at work I viewed an article in The Oregonian (with pictures) of the... [more]

Wait For It

Last month I was given the opportunity to be a traveling minister for Friends World Committee for Consultation (FWCC), to visit Jamaica Yearly Meeting. The committee that receives requests for traveling ministers had discerned that this request from JYM was for me; now it was my turn to discern if I felt called to go.   I listened to my mind and heart, weighed the pluses and minuses, did everything I normally do… and was getting no sense of “yes, this is for you to do.” With a bit of disappointment I thought, “Well, if it’s not yes, then it... [more]

Saying Yes by Saying No

Contemplating this query, I couldn’t think of a time that I had said an unlikely yes. Looking back on the yeses in my life I saw unwarranted yeses, self-betraying yeses and unexamined yeses. There were rash yeses, self-harming yeses and exhausting yeses. But I didn’t see any unlikely ones.  It seemed that I was always likely to say yes.   What came to mind instead was an experience of the Light leading me to say an unlikely no. My father is a vile person; immoral, hateful, viciously critical, mean, and dishonest. But I’ve always tried so hard to have a... [more]

Blessing at the Burning Bush

You will have to decide if you want this— want the blessing that comes to you on an ordinary day when you are minding your own path, bent on the task before you that you have done a hundred times, a thousand.   You will have to choose for yourself whether you will attend to the signs, whether you will open your eyes to the searing light, the heat, whether you will open your ears, your heart to the voice that knows your name, that tells you this place where you stand— this ground so familiar and therefore unregarded— is,... [more]