Knock knock.
Who’s there?
God.
Really? Is it really You, at last?
That’s not the right response. You’re supposed to say, “God who?”
Oh. Sorry. God who?
Let’s take it from the top; works better that way.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Jesus.
Wait; last time you said “God.”
Can’t you follow simple instructions?
Sure, but you said…
Never mind; let’s begin again.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
{slight pause}
Banana who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say… Wait, I got it wrong that time. Sorry. My bad.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
I am.
I am who?
If you don’t know your own name maybe you should see a doctor.
Ha ha! I love that one. Gets ’em every time. Now admit it, don’t you feel better?
Actually, I do. If you’re done knocking would you care to come in for a while, maybe have a cup of tea?
Lovely idea. Do have you anything decaffeinated?
— Julie P.