The small creek flowing down the incline on my left drew my attention, and I hoped there might be a good place to set up my camp out of sight of other hikers and backpackers but not too far from the main gravel road into Jawbone Flats. It wasn’t a steep climb and in old-growth forests there isn’t much undergrowth. I went off-road, looking for a couple trees that would support my hammock and be... [more]

I went to visit Mt. Angel Abbey in 2014 September. I arrived in the area around 6:30 AM when the sun was rising. It was a perfectly round red ball spreading from the upper sky to field in the horizon with some bottom portion still not above the horizon yet. The buildings in Chicago are as tall but this was wide, seeming as close as a mile away.   When I arrived for the mass... [more]

This year in Eastern Oregon has for me been a strange mix — of excitement in exploring with Derek a new and wild part of the world—and of intense grief at being separated from my community of faith. Long-distance connections have always felt challenging to me. Some deep part needs actual, embodied face-to-face connection with those I love. I feel acutely disoriented and unmoored much of the time.   Long walks have literally grounded me and eased... [more]

My extended family owns a quarter-section of land in Wisconsin — a homestead from 1870. My deeply homesick Swedish relatives, who had been horse-keepers and hostelers in the old country, chose a piece of land that reminded them of home — unfarmable land with four lakes, the deep rubble piles of a terminal glacial moraine, the second-highest point in the state of Wisconsin, and virgin timber. (We don’t so much dig holes in the earth... [more]

It was the summer of 1992.  A profound ominous darkness that had hovered for months settled in, took residence and rooted deep in every cell. He had completed suicide six months earlier leaving our five children ages 3, 5, 7, 9 and 13 without a father and me adrift — not knowing if I had anything to hold on to anymore or if anyone was holding on to me.   My parents had recently moved next... [more]

For many years I returned to an island in Maine for a few weeks in June. It was a quiet time, still between seasons, no longer spring but not yet full summer. The ferry ride to the island was an hour long ritual of shedding my winter skin, my city skin and settling into a different rhythm. The blue wind and wide sky, the sea scattered with bright lobster buoys rolling between the islands, the... [more]

This morning I woke up to beautiful sunshine (something I crave after this year’s long winter in the Northwest) as I venture out for my last walk on the Monterey Bay Coastal Recreation Trail. I planned my trek to include my favorite segment that gives the loveliest view of the ocean, but also takes me past the local coffee shop for a venti decaf (my favorite treat!). Today as I have in the past, I... [more]

When Beth and I returned to Pennsylvania from a tiny campus nestled in the Cascades some twenty miles from Ashland, Oregon, everyone could see we were different. During the long flight home I thought about how to explain what happened to me. I struggled to find the words, and I realize that I still don’t know exactly how to explain it. I’m realizing that is a hallmark of spiritually transformative life events, they often leave... [more]